Ladies First!

  Men, can you recall the last time you did these things?  Hopefully most of you were able to answer those questions relatively quickly and on a positive note.  For the rest of you, all is not lost.  Simple niceties should come to us naturally, but as most of us can attest, it eludes most.  Good manners should be expected of both men and women, but there’s something particularly disturbing about a man being inconsiderate of a lady (no matter how old she is).  For example, allowing a door to slam shut in her face, or taking the last available seat while she stands is totally unacceptable.  Do we need men to hold doors open for us?  Of course we don’t.  Many women would argue that they don’t need a man to do anything for them.  That attitude is a big part of the problem!

 Along with women’s desire for independence, came a blurred line between chivalry and politeness.  While chivalry strictly involves men extending courteous behavior to women, politeness is simply having good manners.  Some men tend to downgrade how they treat women in certain situations.  A highly successful woman, in some cases, won’t get the respect she deserves from her male colleagues.  However, women can be successful and respected at the same time.  In fact, we should demand it!   

 Men were once boys and it was at that point parents should have stressed how they expect them to treat females.  Likewise, parents must lead by example……. “Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity” (Titus 2:7 ESV).  

Whether raising boys with your husband or as a single parent, you should:
•    Teach them to respect girls
•    Never allow them to touch a girl in anger
•    Teach them boys and girls are different.  They can’t treat a girl like “one of the boys”
•    Instruct them to open doors for you and other female family members
•    Teach them to never allow others to take advantage of, or hurt girls in their presence
•    Instruct them to treat their female teachers like they treat you (RESPECT THEM)!
•    Teach them to never call females mean-spirited names
•    Teach them to offer girls assistance with heavy items and other tasks
•    Instruct them to give up their seat to a young lady if all seats are taken

 It really is the small things that make a big difference.  By teaching our young men to love and respect women, we are giving them the tools to be a real man that women will admire.

 Ladies, while you strive to claim your independence, don’t lose your femininity in the process.   There’s something sweet about an elderly gentleman tipping his hat to you, or a young man that opens a door, steps to the side and says, “ladies first”.  

Until next time…….continued blessings.

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Trellis Cooper

Trellis M. Cooper is a creative writer who enjoys extending spiritual words of comfort via cards and personalized poems. It is through her personal ministry, Touch A Heart, that she offers encouragement and inspiration to those in need. A current English major, she loves to read, write, cook, travel and spend quality time with her family. As an aspiring author, she is busy working on her first book. Seeing a need to extend proper etiquette tips to others, Trellis enjoys writing for Shulamite Women’s Online Magazine. It has proven to be a godsend as she continues to grow spiritually. She and her husband, Bud, have been married for 25 years and are the proud parents of: Corey, Endia, and Destinee. Trellis and her husband are passionate about maintaining old-fashioned family values in today’s enticing world. Trellis M. Cooper’s contribution to Social Graces is a spiritual mentoring platform, where she can offer fresh, creative solutions that will assist her readers with everyday etiquette challenges.

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